He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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