Cold hands, warm shart.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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