Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
