apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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