The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I could make wine with my vomit
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
