At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
