We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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