Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
