Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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