I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
