Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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