ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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