It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
