Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
