Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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