Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
