she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm too high and old for this...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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