do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
