i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
