Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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