Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
