so explain again why im purple
no
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
