how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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