if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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