I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
