Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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