Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize