Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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