Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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