when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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