I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
