i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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