Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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