And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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