I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
