Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The adults are the big ones right?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
