Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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