jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize