I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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