im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
