that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
