dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
