tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
