I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
