how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
