Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
