Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize