I heard we made out
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
