Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
