just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
