Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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