I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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