So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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