bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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