you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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