When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
