Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
they need to just BURY HIM!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
