I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
