We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
