Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
