on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize